i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
