And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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