How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize