You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Is it because I queefed?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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