I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
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You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
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I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy