too bad you live with your parents still
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
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She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
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The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.