Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.

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  (913): he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying. http://tfl.nu/sfs9
  Replies (18) Good night (1669) Bad night (4367)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo

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  (205): I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo http://tfl.nu/nrq4
  Replies (23) Good night (4966) Bad night (1157)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  That's how you know you deserve to be a senior

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  (316): I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES. (1-316): That's how you know you deserve to be a senior http://tfl.nu/bxif
  Replies (13) Good night (4724) Bad night (859)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying

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  (250): I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying http://tfl.nu/ewgt
  Replies (10) Good night (2358) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.

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  (314): Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love. http://tfl.nu/b9x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1581) Bad night (715)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob

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  (740): no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob http://tfl.nu/6ivp
  Replies (5) Good night (2191) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.

  (360): View more from Washington

  It was me.

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  (360): Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who. (360): It was me. http://tfl.nu/kgk9
  Replies (3) Good night (2746) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?

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  (828): he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me? http://tfl.nu/mhv8
  Replies (4) Good night (482) Bad night (1040)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  desperate times, desperate measures

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  (574): most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water (1-574): desperate times, desperate measures http://tfl.nu/2k3a
  Replies (8) Good night (579) Bad night (1041)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I was convinced to buy a man thong.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  But it's Armani so it's okay.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  God I just out gayed myself.

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  (614): I was convinced to buy a man thong. (614): But it's Armani so it's okay. (614): God I just out gayed myself. http://tfl.nu/dlfj
  Replies (5) Good night (1136) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??

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  (319): Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE?? http://tfl.nu/27co
  Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?

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  (708): was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time? http://tfl.nu/ea5t
  Replies (5) Good night (848) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Pedi-lyte stocked

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  (203): Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver (1-203): Pedi-lyte stocked http://tfl.nu/s7oc
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (323)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.

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  (505): She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem. http://tfl.nu/rpgs
  Replies (1) Good night (1065) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.

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  (415): You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men. http://tfl.nu/015e
  Replies (4) Good night (1043) Bad night (300)

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