i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
