So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
