I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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