At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
