We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
