Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Bring me that man meat
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
