just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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