I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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