Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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