We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I could make wine with my vomit
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
organizing the empties. That sober.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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