dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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