Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
