Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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