she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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