I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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