omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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