i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
