So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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