so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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