i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
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I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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