My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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