Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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