im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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