so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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