Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
