Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
