Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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