Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
