Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
