1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
You're my little dorito
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
