The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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