Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
birth control should be required to get into college
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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