I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
