the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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