There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
