You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
