I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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