last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
