Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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