love makes seman taste better
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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