That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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