No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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