you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
