My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize