your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
