Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
