I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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