Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
