just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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