i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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