The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
