hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
