Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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