i already hear my dad disowning me
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
