Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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